Who am I really? How did I get here? These are both questions I put out there last week and I have found myself answering them at different times over the last week. Sometimes I like the answer and other times I don’t.
I am a girl who has made some really good choices and I have made some very selfish decisions. Allen and I have put ourselves in some holes that were very hard to crawl out of by making choices that could have been better. These are all natural things that we go through, we got ourselves into such a life situation that the only constant and the only thing we could rely on was God. I’m most positive now that He did that for that very reason! In our life right now, we have to trust Him with every ounce! It is very vulnerable and at the same time a fulfilling situation.
We tried too hard to make things the way we thought we wanted them and chased after things that left us in a wreck! However, the good part of these situations was how we handled it and how deep our love for God and each other grew. Those were our two constants through some of our most difficult times! We quit trying to do everything on our own and in our own time and rely on God’s timing.
When we finally let go of whatever it was we were holding onto, things started moving in directions we had only dreamed about. We had to submit to obedience like never before, but it has made us better people, partners and parents because of it. We had to literally let God mold us into what He wanted. It was like I said last week, you just have to say yes to Him and no to the world.
It’s not always easy and I don’t always get it right but I try to, that is what counts. If I’m being honest, for whatever reason yesterday was not the best for me. No particular reason, I didn’t eat good, my attitude could have been better, but today is a new day. One thing I have been recognizing in myself and I am trying to correct is worrying what other people think about me. That is hard to admit but sometimes I change my actions by who I am around to fit into the situation, this honestly drives me crazy about myself. It is a habit that I can fall back into and not even realize. Does anyone else do this?
Who do you try to impress or imitate? I clearly know the answer should be God, so today that is a goal of mine. I will try to walk in His word and light. I’m taking it one day at a time!
He should be the only one we aim to please, we don’t have to explain ourselves to anyone else! We just have to try to do what is right and in His will.